I still believe in Santa Claus. Of course I've known for many years, about seventeen or so (I was a late non-believer), that the man himself isn't real but instead I associate believing in Santa Claus with the feeling of the holiday season. But I am afraid to say that the belief is slowly waning.
When I was a kid we'd decorate our tree as a family (or at least the three of us), order Chinese food, and watch holiday specials on tv. Mom would bake lots of cookies and we would attempt to help. I would spend all the money I got for my birthday the month before on presents for my family. Christmas cards were put under the glass of the coffee table, stockings were hung by the stairs, lights would go on the house, and even in our bedroom windows. On Christmas Eve, my sister and I would sleep together in the same bed and wait to hear reindeer hooves on the roof. We would wake up early to loads of presents under the Christmas tree, the glass of milk and cookies we left gone, and mom making coffee in her terrycloth bathrobe. My father would torture us by getting up late, making us wait impatiently to open our gifts. It wasn't until the video camera was taken out, the adults were caffeinated, and about a dozen phone calls from various relatives were answered that we could finally open the presents.
Don't get me wrong, I don't expect the holidays to be the same as they were when I was a kid. But is it too much to ask for the holiday season to still feel the same? We decorated our apartment for Christmas pretty early. I was bored so we decorated the weekend before Thanksgiving, which breaks one of my cardinal rules. Our tree is small but suitable for the space. Our banister has been broken since we moved in but is covered in garland and lights. The windows are decorated as well with lights.
What is it that is preventing me from feeling the holiday cheer? I'd like to say that it's the weather, since its been on average +60 degrees, but it's been nice not freezing. I can't put my finger on it but it is pretty depressing. I'm hoping within the next few days it kicks in but if not, it'll be the year without a Santa Claus.
-K
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